This crap only happens to me!

So yesterday morning my Aunt comes over. As usual she makes her first stop in Lillie's room to see Remy. Remy is Lil's hampster. She just received Remy for her birthday so he's only been with us for 2 months. Remy's not moving - oh, shit!

I check him out and there he is laying on his side with his eye closed and breathing like a slee-stack (remember them from the Land of the Lost?). Anyway, the darn thing isn't moving and is obviously struggling to breathe. I told Lillie that Remy didn't look so good and we promptly left the house so Remy could die without Lil staring at him. She was sad.

We were gone for over 4 hours. We come home expecting to find that Remy has passed on to the big hampster cage in the sky but NNNNOOOOOO. He's still laying there breathing like a see-stack. Great! So, we wait a little longer and check on him now and then. He's still kickin'. WTF???

I finally couldn't stand seeing the little guy like this so I called our Vet Tech. I give her the 411 and she tells us that he is suffereing and we need to end his little life. Remember, this is Saturday early evening and the Vets office is closed. She is out getting her taxes done. So, the obvious question is:

Me: "How do I do that???"
Her: "Blunt force trama to the head"
Me: "I don't f***ken' think so"
Her: "Can Ed do it?"
Me: "Ed....can you....he said NO"
Her: "I'll be over after I drive to the office"

1.5 hourse later (and a drive to my Mom's to drop off Lille)........She comes on in. I take her to Remy and she checks him out. Yes, it's as bad as we thought. She diagnosis him with Heart Failure due to "really" high blood pressure. She explains..."you see his eye (the one facing down that we couldn't see), it's ruptured out of the socked. This happens when their blood pressure goes too high. The way he's breathing is because his lungs are building up with fluid because his heart isn't pumping correctly." Damn, she's smart. She pulls out a needle and does what she has to do. Remy went heaven. He's in the freezer in the garage awaiting a proper funeral. Great!?!

Now you tell me, who the hell has to call in a Vet Tech on a Saturday night to kill there freaken hampster????? Only me.